You might think that the way someone looks, or the kind of job they have (as well as the money they make) are important defining traits that make a romantic partner. While these can be important, psychologist Alexandra Solomon told the Business Insider that the most important quality is, "Two people who are able to competently handle all of the sh-- that hits the fan.” In long-term relationships, at least.

Life Changes and Knowing How to Handle Them

Solomon, who works at Northwestern University in the US, stated that the “external trappings” such as job, appearance, income etc. are the kinds of things that tend to “come and go”. When a person gets transferred or laid off from their job, it is important that their partner is someone who has the tools to deal with the complexity of it. The job needs of both individuals needs to be assessed. They must decide what to do if one of them has to move across the country. Knowing how to work together, shoulder-to-shoulder, is the most important element. And a job description is nothing in comparison.

This isn’t something that is easy to figure out, especially in the first couple of dates. There are small indications of a bigger picture for the future, however, such as how a person handles smaller interruptions (whether they blow up at a waiter, or are rude to a taxi driver). Overall, it is the relational self-awareness of one another that will keep people strong, according to Solomon.

Source: Business Insider